Tuesday, December 14, 2010

a short story (completely random)

Definitely unrelated: a short story by yours truly

“Platanos, tomates, mangos, bananos, limonsillos, mmm mangos muy riccos!!!” Shouted a man from his megaphone while cruising the field in his rusty, blue pick-up truck.  He swerved the truck and parked in front of a small house with a black iron staircase leading to the second floor of the house.  The staircase merged in to a gate made of heart-shaped swirls that created a pattern and sturdy railing where an older woman leaned. 
“Senora, would you like to by some platanos today, you know I’ll give you a special price” said the man as he winked, thinking his suave nature would make the sale.
“Not today, I’m out of money.  I’m sorry but you’ll have to come back another day”, said the lady. 
The man stared at the dirt ground, pensively.  The goofy smile returned to his face and he handed a bunch of plantains to a neighborhood boy to bring up to the senora.
“These are on me,” he said.
“Aye, thank you.  Come back tomorrow, I’m going to need a bunch of your good mangos for my grandson who’s visiting tomorrow.  You know I would never buy from someone else”, said the lady, returning the wink.  
“Don’t worry, I’ll be back.  Have a good day”, and with that the man jumped back in to his pick up and continued selling his truck-full of fruits and vegetables.
            The next morning, Jacqueline woke to the crackling of frying oil.  Her Grandmother was pressing hot plantain slices between two plates to make flat plantain pancakes, perfect for frying!  Waking up from a bad night, Jacqueline was relieved to know that she could still rely on her grandma for making the delicious fried plantains that always started her day off feeling at home, protected, and comforted like the naive child her grandmother still treated her as.  But, she knew better.  And she could still feel that pang in her stomach reminding her that she was no longer the innocent child her grandmother thought she was and that a few fried plantains were not going to make that go away.  All of a sudden, Jacqueline decided she wasn’t hungry anymore and returned to her room quietly as not to let her grandma know she had awake.  She crept back in to bed, easily falling in to a deep sleep in hopes that it would take her mind off of things for a few more hours.   


Elon said...

You've gone well beyond the 250 word limit, but I get the sense that you enjoyed writing this, and that's important, too. I like how you bring in so many smells into your story. This brings it alive for me and makes me interested. The sights (colors) and smells feed my imagination as a reader, allowing me to enter this scene.

It's clear that this situation is quite complicated, and I'm curious to know more about J's feelings. She wants but she doesn't want; she desires connection but she also feels that she wants separation from her grandmother. A lot to think about here.

Assignment complete = 25/25

Lisa L. said...

I liked your story, especially how you've incorporatd spanish into it to. I really liked the ending. It keeps me wondering and thinking of what happened the night before.